From fc699fef07750928fa6c15bf08c3286d3449ae61 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: "Karen M. Sandler" <karen@sfconservancy.org>
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 2015 20:49:39 -0800
Subject: [PATCH] edits to Bradley's revisions, adding Jeremy's comments

---
 .../supporter/2015-supporter-appeal.html      | 57 ++++++++++---------
 1 file changed, 29 insertions(+), 28 deletions(-)

diff --git a/www/conservancy/static/supporter/2015-supporter-appeal.html b/www/conservancy/static/supporter/2015-supporter-appeal.html
index c727804c..18f46d5c 100644
--- a/www/conservancy/static/supporter/2015-supporter-appeal.html
+++ b/www/conservancy/static/supporter/2015-supporter-appeal.html
@@ -59,27 +59,27 @@ The world today is powered increasingly by Free Software. But what many
 people don't realize is how much support is needed to keep all of these
 projects free and open. The work that we do every day ensures the success and
 the continued freedom of the projects that the developers of our member
-projects so tirelessly dedicate themselves to. Projects like Git, Samba,
+projects dedicate themselves to. Projects like Git, Samba,
 Wine, BusyBox, QEMU, Inkscape, Selenium, and dozens more
 
 [FIXME Link to nascar pic]
 
-<p>Below, we ask for you
+<p>We are asking for you
   to <a href="https://sfconservancy.org/supporter/">join us and become a
-    Conservancy Support now</a>.  However, this is more than our usual annual
-  fundraising appeal.  After the events of 2015, we must substantially
-  increase our support now to continue the excellent work defending software
-  freedom for our member projects and the entire Open Source and Free
-  Software community.  We need at least [750] of you to become regular,
-  annual Supporters just to continue our most basic of community services.
-  We need [2500] of you to become regular, annual Supporters now to continue
+    Conservancy Supporter</a> but this is more than our usual annual
+  fundraising appeal.  As described in more detail below, after the events 
+  of 2015, we must substantially increase our individual support to be able 
+  to continue defending software freedom for our member projects and the 
+  entire free and open source software community.  We need at least [750] 
+  of you to become annual Supporters just to continue our basic community services.
+  We need [2500] of you to become annual Supporters now to continue
   our work enforcing copyleft licenses.  If you don't become a Supporter now,
-  we began plans to wind down Conservancy's operations.</p>
+  we will be forced to radically restructure and wind down a substantial portion
+  of our operations.</p>
 
 <h4>2015 successes</h4>
 
-This year has brought a myriad of major successes for Software Freedom
-Conservancy:
+Software Freedom Conservancy has had a lot of major successes this year:
 
 <ul>
 
@@ -108,8 +108,8 @@ ensuring that you are free to hack on the devices that you legally own. </li>
 Foundation</a> to publish
 the <a href="https://sfconservancy.org/linux-compliance/principles.html">Principles
 of Community-Oriented GPL Enforcement</a> , establishing community norms for
-enforcing the GPL in the public's interest[, and
-already <a href="https://sfconservancy.org/linux-compliance/principles.kr.html">translated
+enforcing the GPL in the public's interest, which have 
+already been <a href="https://sfconservancy.org/linux-compliance/principles.kr.html">translated
 into Korean</a> [and Chinese].</li>
 
 <li>Along with FSF, we
@@ -126,22 +126,21 @@ of <a href="http://sfconservancy.org/news/2015/oct/14/FCC-comment/">telling
 the FCC to fix its proposed rules</a> restricting third-party modification of
 firmware in wireless devices.
 
-<!--  conledger -V -b 2015-01-01 --limit 'tag("Approval") =~ /\/2015/ and tag("TaxImplication") !~ /Reimbursement/' reg '/Assets/'|wc -->
-
-<li>We processed and paid 116 reimbursement requests individuals doing tireless work
-  around the globe advocating for their Open Source and Free Software
-  projects at conferences and other venues.</li>
-
 <!-- conledger -V -b 2015-01-01 --limit 'tag("Approval") =~ /\/2015/ and tag("TaxImplication") !~ /(Reimbursement|USA-501c3|Corporation|Tax-Payment|LLC|W2|Refund)/' reg '/Assets/'|wc -l -->
 
-<li>We made 172 contractor payments to developers writing Open Source and
-  Free Software, which included various different internships and contract
+<li>We made 172 contractor payments to developers writing free and open source 
+  software, which included various different internships and contract
   software development work.</li>
 
-<li>We helped, coordinated, and financially insured volunteers our three of
-  our member projects organize large annual conferences, where thousands of
-  attendees learned about Open Source and Free Software projects of their 
-  interest.</li>
+<li>We helped, coordinated, and financially insured volunteers of three of
+  our member projects to organize large annual conferences, where thousands of
+  attendees learned about free and open source software.</li>
+
+<!--  conledger -V -b 2015-01-01 --limit 'tag("Approval") =~ /\/2015/ and tag("TaxImplication") !~ /Reimbursement/' reg '/Assets/'|wc -->
+
+<li>We processed and paid 116 reimbursement requests individuals doing work
+  around the globe advocating for their free and open source software
+  projects at conferences and other venues.</li>
   
 <li>We gave keynotes
 at <a href="https://sfconservancy.org/blog/2015/aug/17/debian/">DebConf</a>, <a href="https://archive.fosdem.org/2015/schedule/event/identity_crisis/">FOSDEM</a>, <a href="https://sfconservancy.org/blog/2015/jul/14/FISL16/">FISL</>, <a href="https://sfconservancy.org/news/2015/mar/31/libreplanet/">LibrePlanet</a>, <a href="https://sfconservancy.org/blog/2015/sep/30/linaro-keynote/">Linaro
@@ -190,9 +189,11 @@ of the <a href="http://sfconservancy.org/news/2015/mar/05/vmware-lawsuit/">suit
 against VMware</a>, which is the first law suit on derivative works and the
 GPL. While this work is extremely important to the continued long-term
 success of software freedom and copyleft, it makes fundraising from companies
-almost impossible. While enforcement of the protections around free and open source
+very difficult. While enforcement of the protections around free and open source
 software is in the long term interest of the industry, many companies are
-reluctant to fund organizations that take on this enforcement task. We do
+reluctant to fund organizations that take on this enforcement task. Some companies 
+have withdrawn from funding us and some have even successfully pressured 
+conferences to cancel or prevent talks on our enforcement work. We do
 this work because we think that it is good for everyone in the long run,
 because we know it is the right thing to do and because we know that we are
 in the best position to do it. But that's not enough &mdash; you have to think it's